Sunday, March 26, 2006
Hmm, its 5 am, and y am i awake? Hmm, i helping baby to do a video, i dun have the powerful program to do it, so i using WMM to make do, well its sucks, simply.. Cant get the effect i wan to have, how i wish i have the program then. Anyway.. Today.. Was not a good day, i woke up early, hoping to wake baby up.. But cant, i walk to her hall, and called her, she refused to wake up, and mubble something, she is angry that i woke her up.. Then tried the second time, she said she told her grp mates that she be late.. Okie, then i made my way back, feeling bad that i woke her up though, then went back to sleep. Like 3 pm, Woke up and found her online, but din talk to her much. Cause she was doin her project ma.. Then met her at the road junction after her meeting and walked her up, while helping her to think of the video, then decided to help her with the video loh. Since i so "free".. Nvm, waited for her bus at the bus stop, and i wanted to ask her, can you give me a chance? But i cant, dun know y.. Maybe the time is not right, she went off on the bus.. Can see that she is very tired, so i think its good that i din ask.. So went back to hall after eating, then on the job, still doing the video.. but manage to talk to her online, then everything was fine, and sent her the song that siti sent me, the perfect song, ya, everything to me was perfect at that moment, but i did something i shouldnt do, i ask her the question online.. cause i told her i got something to tell her, but i wan to do it face to face, but she asked me what is it, so i prode the question to her.. Guess what, she rejected me.. She treated me as a good frenz and dun have feeling for me. Ya, the one moment i feel so sweet, its good.. So this 2 days, maybe its a mist for me, i thought we will be together liao, from the nite she open her heart. But i was wrong, maybe she settled her thinking and realize that i not suitable for her.. She dun wan a relationship now.. So frenz out there, should i wait? or should i give up? Honestly, i cant lie and say my heart is not in pain. it is now, feeling painful.. But i have to bear with it, the fall is hard, because no one supported me now, how i wish i can hug her now.. but i cant.. Maybe time will heal everything, but most important, i wan her to be happy, i am secondary. :) I not fine, but i going to be fine, as for now, i will wait for her, to believe she is having negative feelings abt me at the starting, now as a good frenz, maybe its a blessing after all, maybe she is one that i can rely on.. Maybe.. But certainly hope that we can go above the maybe.
Love can be the hardest thing to get in the world, even how rich, how strong, how intelligent you are, you will still lose to one thing, that is love. But without love, human is nothing but a shell, with it, human is open to all forms of attacks. But human choose to live with attacks because love holds something more than that, but the healing strength and the will it gives to people. Love can also be the most fragile thing in the way, because it shatter without a drop, with juz a word, ur world collspes, nothing is important to u anymore, and once its shatter, its hard to pick up the pieces, you cant form it back, but it will slowly heal, and maybe one day, juz one moment, it will become 1 piece again, and let love blossom.
Larry
Noted my chronicles at 5:07 AM
