Monday, June 12, 2006
Well, I cant sleep, recently din blog also. But i cant sleep is because i feel shallow, sad/disappointed. Juz before i blog, Alan msn me, and told me someone blog abt my entry in MF website, read and this is what i can say. You have been living in ur own world, thinking u are good in many things, alot of things, u havent see, havent learn, havent touch, alot of things is too cruel to say out. Talk abt politics, u know nothing yet. But i wont say that i know everything. Its ur view, and its my view, and i not a big shot, do i ever command u to do anything? U have been with me, and i feel sad that it comes from u that u think i am a big shot. :)
Anyway, this is what happen ba. After the DnD, i enjoyed the whole thing, be it the games, be it the atmosphere, be it juz the people, its enjoying for juz the company there. But i also lost in words when i dun see, those ever supporting, or all words in mouth supporting ppl there. So, i decided to post a comments onto magnum website, and do some direct shooting. So the result, too direct, dion called and talked to me. Abt his view, abt my view, i told him strongly that its how i think, and if he think its wrong, then del it or comment it. He thinks differently, and took the last phrase seriously. No less, i also serious in the last phrase, and dun be childish = dun play mind games, be supportive to events and show ur juniors.
Told me abt, "even been 5 years champ and losing it?" No i never, so i cannot say that i got the feeling, so i accept the fact that its hard to get it down, but one thing he said wrong, the passion. When i joined magnum, i din know it was a 3 times national champ then, i joined magnum for curiousity, and also interest. So the passion gains and in 2 years, i not in nationals, ever wonder y? Ya,i not good enough for it, so i accept it, but did i ever stop going down, to support nationals even when i know i was not inside? No? And that words that u said that "its bullshit that u dun join magnum for nationals and only passion" really stabbed hard in. But i have to say, what keeps me still liking cheerleading now, is passion, and i cant join nationals now, and i join cheerobics to see what i can do for cheerleading, so what it have to do with getting nationals?
Anyway, thats abt it. I know i being too direct in the post. But if beat around the bush, whats the different between me and aces? We talk abt unrealistic they are, but now whos talking.. Bomb me in my tagboard, but in the end, this is my blog, u dun like it, leave! No one stopping u. Like i say, Magnum events are annual, be it Dnd, Camp or what shit dinner. Its a time when ppl gather together, share their differents, and break the bond. But now it becomes a place for revenge, showing attitude by not going. So you say the X-committee got their dark secrets, then, what abt Yifang, Yi Xin, Jie Wei, Zi Wei, Grace? I din mention Syaza and jennifier because u can say they part of the grp they belong together. But like i said, how abt those not involved? When i see their faces in Dnd, I cant help it but feel sad, because, imagine u did alot, tried ur best to get ppl, but ppl dun wan to go, because they "no money". Reasons are made by ppl, excuses are made by ppl. So it Solutions, contributions.. If u desire to go, there is way to go. So next time, there is a bangkok trip, those ppl wont go loh, cause they no money, or they suddenly can grow money out? Who knows...
And one side story, why will u choose me to be ur welface take over, or y lenny will choose me.. I good in talking? or what? I dun like the idea of listening to ppl and then tell ppl that u wrong u wrong. I heard too much, and if u think i biased to one side, think abt urself, who is biased more? I being in this kind of politics war before, and everytime i commented something hard, i lost something, this time, i lost a good frenz, but seen a real frenz. And u said that i never been in before, please recall my age, i been in things u never been yet. Say me old, say me ah pek, so what? If you can burnt me down, i really appreciate u try, this world is not a game u play easily, its too hard to play, i been stabbed too much that i dun think i feel anything when u stab me. Let say, i dun know who can play harder this time.. :) Drop me all ur bullshits if u wan, i will onli listen, and say thank u, but i wont comments on u, argue with u, no point, cause i am ur frenz, thats y i told u, if i am not, i wont even bother. I am ur frenz, thats y i say what i think to u, if i not, i wont even bother to talk to u. True? U learn it soon..
Noted my chronicles at 4:34 AM
